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[Oct. 19th, 2009|12:18 am] |
I joined an intramural volleyball league, and I felt like I was athletic enough to join the A league without problem. That was a poor decision, compared to the rest of the team, I really suck. And they're all nice about it, but after screwing up five plays in a row, I want to slink away and die, but instead I stick it out and get the fuck outta there as soon as the game is over. I guess there's more technique to it than I had realized.
Before the term started, I made a list of six goals I hoped to achieve over the next two months--nothing terribly drastic, just some small lifestyle changes that I thought might put me in better health, mentally and physically. So far I am on track with only one goal, I have been lacking drive for a while.
They turned on the steam at the greenhouses, and my apartment has become Too Fucking Hot. I have a couple big 6" trunk lines running through my apartment, and until it actually gets cold outside, holy shit it's fucking hot in here.
New Flaming Lips album came out Tuesday, it's a good one. Sounds similar to one of their three records before WB signed them, but it's a lot more polished. Dark, spooky, ambient, and powerful. The acid rock is back. Plus the new Felix da Housecat is pretty bumpin. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2009|12:23 am] |
Last Sunday I was invited by my friend Harrison and his roommate to go mountain biking at Willamette Pass. Willamette Pass is a 6800 ft peak that is open to skiing in the winter, and mountain biking in the summer. It has a gondola that runs to the top of the mountain, so you just pay $25 and you can take your bike up the hill all day like that.
It was really, really fun. Like, I think some of the most fun I've ever had. Harrison and his roommate Alex both have cross country bikes, very similar to mine. This is a picture of my model bike:
We were the only people there with cross country bikes. Everyone else was riding freeride bikes, which look something more like this:
They also had full face helmets, and body armor covering their shins, knees, chest, back, and arms.
But, even though our bikes were not really designed for the intense downhill, it was still really fun. The trails were really cool--lots of 2 and 3 foot drops, which though scary, were satisfying to land. We all wrecked a few times, but were OK. I did have my camera in my camelbak, and broke it with my worst crash, but I guess that's the price I pay for being an idiot and bringing a camera mountain biking.
I'm still a little undecided about clipless pedals as far as going downhill. I really like them on my commuter, and I definitely appreciate them on my mountain bike when I'm climbing. But I still don't quite feel comfortable with them going downhill. It's true that I do have a lot more lateral control clipped in, it's a lot easier to move the back wheel around, but I'm just scared of wrecking. I'd hate to get tangled up with my bike if I need to bail. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2009|09:22 pm] |
Zoidberg: "Things were bad, but now things are good! Forever!"
Things are good. I'm really glad I'm not graduating this term, actually. I want another year here. This has been the trimester in which things are really coming together.
I think yesterday was one of the best days I've had in Corvallis yet. Why's that? Everywhere I went, everything I did, I saw a friendly face and was able to stop and chat with a friend for a few minutes. I felt appreciated, welcomed, and liked. In all my time in Corvallis, I have never had a day like that. I have never felt like part of any community here. Yesterday felt like a real turning point.
Splitting with Aleyna was painful, but likely a very good thing for us both. It has impelled me to seek friendship and engagement in a way I hadn't before. Frisbee league was kind of a bust, I didn't meet anyone through that (damn pre-dental kids), but running for office in the horticulture club was a fantastic idea. It's a great group of kids, and now I actually have friends in my hort classes. Their interests all run quite parallel to mine, and it's a fucking shame I let my fucked up inhibitions keep me from making friends for so long.
Just the other day I got the word that I'm OK for 40 hours a week of paid work at the Oak Creek Site for Urban Horticulture this summer. I'm really very excited about it. I've got an acre or two I'm planting with newly-released annual varieties from several big producers. It's bordered by the organic garden plots, and the horse ranch. It's a beautiful, peaceful place to work--just trees blowing in the breeze, bees buzzing by, and horses neighing. I'm working mostly solo, my employer trusts me to get out there and get shit done, which is the only way I can work. Plus I get a truck. On top of that I'll be doing 10-15 hours per week at the greenhouses. Due to tight budgets I may have to volunteer any overtime I work, but that's OK. Somehow I seem to fall into these amazing gigs--the super cheap job/house, and this internship I've got. I don't know--am I lucky, or have I worked hard to get these positions? I'm just glad I'm not like, a psychology or business major.
I have been spending some serious time in the garden. Pics to come soon. My wildflower garden (planted to attract pollinators and beneficial insects) is doing well and just about in full bloom. I have planted peas, lettuce, bok choy, strawberries, cantaloupe, hops, tomatoes, peppers, and corn so far. The blueberries will be ripe in another week or two. I have about 1500 extra annuals that I've been growing in the greenhouse, and I've absolutely saturated my yard with as many as I could fit. The fish are happy and active once again, and the smoke tree is in full bloom. I have installed drip irrigation throughout the entire yard, which really makes things easy.
With all these things comes an upturn in my self-confidence. I've started working out again after a month or two off, and I think I might start shaving a little more frequently than once every three weeks. Why, just today, I met a pretty girl working in one of the greenhouses. I invited her to a cookout I'm having Saturday, and to my surprise, she obliged! This is something that simply would not have happened to a prior version of myself.
Hmmm. I guess my point is that springtime is the season of rebirth. Goodnight. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2009|05:06 am] |
I have worked extensively laying new irrigation throughout my yard area.
Things were bad, but now things are mostly good. The warm weather excites me; so does the prospect of meeting new people. I enjoy frisbee and beer.
Yeah, I'd say things are all right. Allllllllll right. When life gets you down, you got to fuck life. It's really just a lot of bullshit anyway. |
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| Last Night a DJ Saved My Life |
[May. 6th, 2009|06:16 pm] |
No. Last night, I was at my friend's house, and went to the bathroom to take a leak. Well, I remember peeing...and then I woke up on the floor. I saw cabinets, and thought I might be in the kitchen. But my friends' voices were a bit muffled, so it must be the bathroom, right? Wait a second, why am I laying on the bathroom floor? I don't remember getting on the floor...maybe I'll just lay here for a while. It's so comfortable and peaceful on the floor...
man, I fucking fainted, and I hit my head so hard. it sucks, I think I definitely suffered a minor concussion. my headspace has been throbbing all day, and an entire quadrant of my skull is all bruised and tender. I'd had like two beers, no other substances, so who knows what the deal is. it sucks though--I know that even minor concussions can really fuck up the brain and impair neurological functioning.
ow. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2009|05:25 pm] |
Do you know who that gentleman is? His name is Richard Anthony Hewson, and he is a genius. He's a producer who worked with the Beatles, James Taylor, and some other big names.
Well, in the late 70s, he made this studio group called "The RAH Band". Have you heard their stuff? It's so good. It is right up my alley...early electronic stuff, it is a blend of funk, jazz, synthpop, and OUTER SPACE. Really, most of his songs are space themed, and this is something of which I entirely approve.
This is probably his most well known song. I was surprised though--that picture above is the ONLY picture of him that I could find on the internets (in 5 minutes of looking, but still). He seems to be largely unknown, but he is as talented as anyone I've heard.
OK. Enough of that. I bought a ticket to Burning Man this year. I don't have a ride, or any friends going as of yet, but I'll get there and make some friends and I'll have a good time.
Do you ever have a "sticky hand day"? It's just what it sounds like. My fingers are sticking together, despite having washed them thoroughly like ten times.
Yesterday I had a very brief presentation, discussing what I am researching in my class, and I was completely unprepared and really looked like quite a dope. Some days I'm pretty sure I am a dope.
It's been raining and ugly here, plus my wrist and back were really hurting me, so I haven't been mountain biking in the last two weeks. You know what I need to start doing, is yoga. I injured my back last year drilling a couple hundred holes in .25" steel (ya gotta push hard or you just ruin the bit). Well 90% of the days it doesn't bother me, but when it flares up, jesus does it hurt bad. But, I really feel like it's the kind of hurt that would melt away if I could get back to doing yoga.
This weekend the horticulture club had a plant sale, and we sold lots of geraniums and fuschias. The whole sale made floriculture even more attractive to me--I think that is definitely the direction I'd like to go on. We made close to $10K in about 6 hours. We could not keep the plants stocked, they were just flying out of our little stall. People were stuffing $20 bills in my face, I couldn't grab them quickly enough. It was nuts.
OK. I got some good pictures from my plant project that I'll post soon. Man, 4,000 plants is a shit-ton to take care of. They're getting too tall and all need a good pinching. In about an hour I can do about 10-15 flats. I have ~250 flats in there. It takes fucking forever to do anything in there. But it's good, especially for wanting to get into floriculture. I figure it doesn't hurt to learn a couple hundred taxa of bedding plants.
Will write again in a bit. If I don't die first. Nothing is certain. (But I hope to stay alive another five or six decades!) |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2009|08:55 pm] |
things came together in a big way this week.
this term, it feels like the pieces are finally starting to come together. I feel like I'm maybe starting to learn something, to actually possess some useful skills and knowledge.
on thursday I got an excellent deal figured out for the next six months. I got my spring schedule squared away, as well as an internship straightened out.
I'll be doing an independent study next term. different nurseries and growers from across the country are sending this professor here new annual plant varieties for evaluation in the field. it is my job take all the rooted plugs (the form in which bedding plants are usually shipped) and get them to a point where they will be suitable for planting in the field. so my independent study will consist really of just growing a large crop of annuals--transplanting them, fertilizing, irrigating, managing photoperiod and supplemental lighting, monitoring for pests and doing sprays, and keeping inventory/production logs of the whole thing. I'm really excited for it. I'm finally developing relationships with the professors here and getting to actively engage in my education. Prior to this, things largely fucking sucked.
well sometime in June these plants will be heading out into the field and planted. my internship will be working with these plants and helping this professor in his evaluation. this is really great for me--it's a paid position, and it's like a mile away from me. this is great: I get to live at my apartment (ridiculously cheap), and I also do *not* need to buy a vehicle now before graduation. I had several thousand set aside for that, but if I don't need a car, then I can spend a portion of what I had saved for car on that mountain bike for this summer! mmm, I foresee a very fulfilling 2009.
peace all. |
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| today has been an alright day. |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|08:05 pm] |
yes; today has been an alright day. there have been good moments and there have been bad moments.
this morning, I had plant physiology midterm #2. I did well.
since then, I've spent like four or five hours reading the internet. this contributes towards today being a bad day.
I have been kinda bike crazy since I did that work on my bike a few weeks ago. I have really been reading an awful lot about it and looking far and wide across the internets for some good bargains. What I am aiming for is a nice, light full-suspension cross country type bike. for the last year or so I've been keeping my eye open on the internets for sales on a Santa Cruz superlight. the blur also looks like a sweet ride. Yesterday, aleyna and I went out to breakfast. afterwards, we walked to the bike shop, where I found a 2008 trek fuel 8 marked down from $2,500 to $1,500. I'm not wild about trek, but looking at the bike it seemed a pretty good deal. today I read a couple hundred reviews on the bike and I've been tempted all day to go down to the shop and buy that sucker. don't think I will though, that's a lot of cash. still.
I'm really interested in building my next bike. I'm not sure though, if building a bike is like building a computer, in that you can save a good amount of money shopping around and putting it together yourself. in looking for bike parts, I've learned a decent new frame is easily $1000+, and even used ones are close to $1000. if you want nice tires, or nice component groups, or handlebars, man that shit adds up quickly. so as far as I can tell, you're better off buying a bike kit from a dealer, than you are buying parts separately. it would be a lot of fun though to piece those things together and ride your creation. someday, someday, someday...
aleyna and I have been out of sync for a while now and that has made this somewhat of a rough day. she works five hours during the day plus the night shift, and I work and do school from 8-5. this means we never really see each other. when we're both here, one of us is sleeping. when we are both awake, we're bitching at each other and pissing each other off. today has just been one of those days. i laid in my hammock for a while and stared at the sky and said curse words to no one in particular. may I add, the sky was the most beautiful color tonight, almost lavender, which hazy orange streaks running through it. |
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| i am writing here so that i am not doing homework. |
[Nov. 10th, 2008|09:18 pm] |
mmm. school is very discouraging at the moment.
i am taking a course, case studies in horticultural systems management. it is interesting, yet also very demanding. we are required to do an independent case study--to find a grower with a problem in his or her system. we then must analyze the problem, and present our recommendations in a fairly beefy paper. (beefy by my standards).
it's a small class, no more than fifteen people i'd say. i am the minority in that I do not come from a horticultural background--most of them grew up on farms or in nursery/greenhouse families. i bring that up because i found it very hard to find a grower with a suitable case.
i eventually ended up choosing a project regarding poplars being grown here in the greenhouses. they're grown by the college of forestry, department of biotechnology. as i understand it, they're researching transformational genomics--essentially, trying to determine what various genes within the genome do, and how their placement affects what they do.
anyway, i am really hating this project. i regret having chosen it. the rough draft was due today, and I'm not even sure yet how to state the problem. the project leader is difficult to communicate with--I still remain unclear regarding the experiment parameters, constraints...things which cannot be altered, things they wish changed.
basically, some trees aren't doing so hot. how does one remedy that? well, I can measure the pH and EC, and adjust them to within the target range of grey poplar...but what is the target range? I am finding it near impossible to find any references at all regarding container poplar cultivation, even with access to the horticultural library and plant journal databases.
there are problems with spider mites and mealybugs. all the literature suggests exactly what we do already--spray with distance, tetrasan, decathlon, aria, floramite. besides that, there's not a lot we can do. due to the spray program at the greenhouses, biological control is not really an option--they'd just get wiped out by the bi-weekly sprays. aside from those options, what's left is good sanitation and adjusting the climate such that it is not conducive to the life cycle requirements of spider mites and mealy bugs. that is not really an option though, because the main goal is growing poplars, which requires the room stay around 70F.
sometimes trees will go dormant. this is likely due to receiving mostly red light, from the high pressure sodium lamps. solution? stick a metal halide or two in the room, or buy more expensive HPS bulbs that put out more blue light.
that so far, is essentially all I have. this is a senior thesis course. needless to say, it's not gonna cut it.
what I really need to do this is set up trials, controls, find my own results and design my own system. I could do that, and I think I could really get into it. I would absolutely love to design and implement a heavily automated system, with drip irrigation supplied by a central reservoir, with an injector to maintain optimal fertilizer levels & float valve to keep the reservoir filled. time just doesn't allow that though, the whole thing is due in like three weeks. so i've got nothing and I'm not sure where to go and I just feel completely fucked in general.
so...there's that. I thought there was more, but my other classes are going alright. I mean, they suck, but I'm doing well enough that I'm not very stressed by them.
I'm getting so tired of school. I have so much left too, how did I end up with an almost six year program? it sucks. I just wanna be done.
i feel like i need to take classes twice. once to introduce all the concepts, once more to master them. that's not possible though, unless I want to put myself twice as deep in debt and three more years behind.
mmm. i have a sweet apartment now, in my name. for the last several years I longed for this; I will have so much fun when I have my very own place, I said to myself. not...so. I don't have anyone to invite over (or rather, I am for some reason reluctant and fearful to attempt initiating a social engagement with the few I do know). so, I spend a lot of time hanging by myself, hanging with my girlfriend, and just kinda loafing. it makes me feel discouraged and pessimistic I think.
i'm not sure what I need, maybe a good kick in the pants. I tried several times this year to get involved in a frisbee team, never worked. i wanted to join the horticulture club; unfortunately, they meet every wednesday at 5:00, which also happens to be the time at which I must lock up the greenhouses.
probably just a big freakin' kick in the pants. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2008|10:46 pm] |
Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge wishes you a safe and happy halloween!!
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2008|09:10 pm] |
I have been struggling a lot with school this term. I am getting my work done, but by and large it is not quality work. It is not that I don't have enough time; I do. I feel that my assignments are so ambiguous and the load so overwhelming that I feel like I can't get a firm grip on it, so I don't start until a few hours before it's due.
I'm not failing by any means, but it's sort of disconcerting. The last few semesters I'd felt like I'd really got the whole school thing dialed in, finding a way to do my work and do it well. I was able to score my first 4.0 semester, and the semesters sandwiching that one have been very close. Now I am turning in papers that are just not that great and it makes me feel kind of stupid. I feel like I bring nothing original or thoughtful into class. Sometimes it makes me question whether I am in the right field.
The truth is I've had an extremely difficult time for the last year or so engaging in any sort of self-improving habits. I am not eating very well nor taking good care of my body, nor challenging my mind very often. I know it's possible though, 2005-2007 I was so much better about staying fit and eating well. Now, I'm largely apathetic towards those things. Alas. I do keep the apartment very clean; I like spending time doing chores because it makes me feel productive. But by Saturday afternoon all my chores are done, and I sit around feeling paralyzed.
I know some of it is due to my social life, or relative lack thereof. Friends definitely influence habits, especially eating habits. The people I do occasionally see can be counted on to eat fast food for at least three dinners a week. I'm not that bad, but I do buy a lot of crap at the grocery store. I think my lack of interest in fitness is also somewhat influenced by my social circle. This may be silly, but the single biggest factor driving me to work out regularly late 2005 through early 2007 was competing with Matt. He was always so much better with the ladies and peers, and he was always looking so much better, it drove me absolutely nuts. So I felt like I had to one-up him in that regard, and that is literally where almost all of the motivation came from. Sure, once I got started I noticed the improvements in self-confidence and my general mind-state, but it was always that "competition" in the back of my mind which drove me. Now I just don't care that much...
Well I am glad to have shared that. I know that I am intelligent individual and I am capable of doing good and important things, so I am trying hard to shake this feeling of impotence. I suppose it all has to come from within. Thank you for reading. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2008|08:55 pm] |
this weekend I rediscovered the satisfaction of a day spent outside. and then I took some pictures.
( greenhouse pictures ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|12:32 pm] |
allow me to vent:
i've had a computer game and two textbooks sent to my address via US mail last week. this, however, is a problem. I have two addresses, one for FedEx/UPS, and one for USmail. when ordering these items, it wasn't stated how they would ship them--I assumed UPS or FedEx. Well, they were sent via USmail.
These packages had tracking numbers, so I can tell they've all been delivered. but I don't know where!! I am going bonkers going from one building to another and then another trying to track down my mail, but to no avail. no one has seen or heard of these packages. now I am missing homework assignments because I need the textbook to do them. I don't want to buy another set of textbooks, because I already bought them. but where are they!?! plus I was kinda hoping to play my game a little bit. goodness it's frustrating. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2008|07:56 pm] |
what i like most about my job is the skills it teaches me. after a year and a half I'm still learning a lot of new things and really enjoying it.
these are skills which are doubtfully very marketable in terms of applying for jobs, but things which I think will really benefit me later on in life. I really hope to some day be a home/land owner, and I think it is there that these skills will especially lend themselves to me.
i've learned a lot about cutting and shaping and building with aluminum and steel. i'm now comfortable and versed in using a lot of different hand and power tools, like angle grinders and portable bandsaws and sawzalls. i know how to use a rotary hammer drill to anchor wood or metal into a foundation. i can frame a square wall. i've learned a lot about installing irrigation and plumbing and greenhouse cooling systems. i'm learning some basic electrical, I know how to wire motors and cords and plugs for different voltages. now i know these aren't anything that millions of other people don't also know how to do, but I feel competent in tackling various household repairs that I definitely would not have prior to working here.
i come from a household where my parents were very hesitant, basically fearful of ever attempting moderate household repair job themselves (at least it seemed so to me). i often saw this as wasteful, both monetarily and as a lost opportunity to learn something new.
so it's fortunate that marketplace west never responded to me regarding that food server job. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2008|11:28 pm] |
i'm sick of this shit!
just went to go change my load of laundry, I'm walking back, and this state police cruiser flies up beside me. two jacked dudes step out and proceed to detain me, take my ID, date of birth, all that stuff, and keep me sittin on a curb until dispatch can verify that I don't have any warrants out.
what the fuck??? how does that work?? I guess I made the mistake of asking them why they needed my ID, cause that's when they got tough and gave me that verbal shakedown. apparently, they saw me "lurking". man, what the fuck.
at least, I guess, I wasn't preemptively targeted for planning a nonviolent protest. |
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